Teaching Boys Not To Hit Girls?

The other Sunday, my local church decided to hand out foam sticks to the kids which lit up due to LEDs inside.  Naturally, lightsaber inspired battles broke out everywhere afterward.

My oldest daughter was gleefully engaged in such a battle with a boy about her age.  Then his mom put a stop to it.

If she merely objected to her son being in any sort of fight, albeit a playful mock battle, that would have been one thing.  But that wasn’t her reason.  The real reason irked me.  She told her son to disengage because, “Boys don’t hit girls.”

I get the idea.  Abuse is a nasty thing that was once considered something bad men did to women.  And I take issue with feminism on many things.  But haven’t we reached a point in our society where we realize the sexist fallacy that boy was just taught?

He wasn’t beating on her, and she was no unwilling participant.  She was even bigger, stronger, and more skilled than he.  She joined the battle because she wanted to engage.  She wanted to interact with other children and this was the manner she chose.  So why does this woman think that my daughter’s gender must hold her back from this interaction?  She may not think of it that way, but if her son cannot hit back in the appropriate manner then there is no battle.  All because, “Boys don’t hit girls.”

If we are to reach equality, either we end these mock battles completely or we need to remove the old restrictions.

But what about adulthood?  I’ve personally seen a high school girl wail on a boy her age with balled fists rooted on by all the girls and ignored by the boys.  Yet, when he couldn’t get away and slapped her with an open hand to stop the fight, the crowd turned on him violently.

Because “Boys don’t hit girls.”

Everyone has the right to defend themselves against anyone.  Period.  Men are abused more frequently by women than the feminists would have you believe.  HelpGuide and the Mayo Clinic both recognize this.  So should men hit women?  Remove the gender terms.  Should anyone hit anyone else?

I answer this with the second punch mentality.  The core tenets are as follows:

1.  No pre-emptive strikes.  That’s just another term for assault.

2.  Never throw the first strike.

3.  Always attempt to evade/de-escalate violent situations.  Seek help where and when possible.

4.  Sometimes escape, aid, and de-escalation are impossible.

5.  Possessions are rarely, if ever, worth the fight.

6.  Words are NEVER worth the fight.

7.  Fight only to prevent harm, death, and/or rape to yourself or others.

8.  Your first move should ALWAYS be a dodge or block unless joining a fray to aid a person already under attack.

9.  Your opponent(s) must throw the first strike.

10.  The first strike does not need to be allowed to connect.

11.  Do not seek revenge nor punishment.  Seek only to stop the immediate threat.

12.  Threat stopped = end of fight.

13.  When you throw the second strike, make it count.  You may not get another.

14.  Take no pleasure in the fight.  Only in the resolution.

I may have left out a few, but you get the idea.

Time to stop the “Boys don’t hit girls” garbage.


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