Shocking the Automotive Flatline

I had a crazy day the other day.  I won’t go into it all, just the car.  I thought my battery died.  I was sitting in the car, in line to pick up my oldest from her first day of school.  I was a quarter-hour early, so I shut off the engine to save gas.  Then the line moved and I turned the key.
Click, click, click!  It wouldn’t start back up.  Then it stopped trying to click. 
I waved the other cars around.  One of the other parents offered to help when the line was gone.  I gratefully accepted.  When the cars had passed me, I walked to the doors to pick my daughter up.  The other parent let her sit in the back of her van and the kids watched cartoons.  Meanwhile, the other parent, the teachers, a custodian, and I all pushed my dead car to a parking space.
We tried vainly to jump the car.  We had to use jump points on my car due to design issues upon which I will later elaborate.  Nothing.  The other parent gave my daughter and I a ride home.  My father-in-law got the car home.
To access the battery on a Chrysler Concorde, one must prepare for surgery.  After opening the hood, you have to remove the entire air filter assembly.  Now jack the front passenger side up.  Remove the wheel cover and tire/rim.  Now tackle the five screws holding an access panel i place.  Remove access panel.  Now, remove the bar holding the battery in place by way of two nuts.  Remove terminal clamps.  Now move the battery carefully out the access panel (it won’t come out of the top.)  Fun right?
At this point, I suspect Rubik as the identity of the engineer responsible for this inane design.  Come to find out, the terminal clamp needed replaced.

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